LTF | Forbidden Shaman Energy

Melissa Allison: 00:00:05

Welcome to Loving the F.

I'm Melissa Allison and this is the podcast that looks at the forbidden and says, I'm not gonna lie, I was using a potion of treasure finding when I met you. I talk to a new guest each week and examine the female finances, friends, family, fitness and all the other F words. So join me.

Especially if it's forbidden. I am here with Danielle Bryan at Rich Chocolate in Park City talking about the forbidden and redefining it.

And Danielle is a practitioner of shamanic medicine. And you want to tell a little bit about what that is and your background.

Danielle Bryan: 00:00:46

Shamanic energy medicine what I do with people is work with the energy body and work with the ways in which we have rooted and allowed for our stories, our wounds, our life experiences to have shaped us in ways that serve us and then become limiting and restrictive. So we all have these patterns in our life. We all have the ways that we come to things.

We all have the systems that we buy into and they serve us really well until they don't.

And they can become limiting and restrictive to our own expansion into our own growth and into living into greater and greater alignment in congruence with who. Who we really are.

And so we can look at all kinds of things that go on in a person's world and look at how our life force energy is contracted to the past and how we think things are into the future and what we think they should be. Both sides of the spectrum actually contract our life force energy.

And so I help people to be able to have a clearer idea and self introspection to what those are for each one of us and where it's limiting us and where we have bought into things that aren't even true for us anymore. That whole old story and old wound and old density.

Melissa Allison: 00:02:27

Just in the practice with you, that opening, I don't know what you call it is very powerful.

Danielle Bryan: 00:02:34

Opening of sacred space is what we call it. And it can be a prayer. We can talk about it. But anyway, yes, yeah, it's very powerful.

Melissa Allison: 00:02:42

Just the calling of the elements and things that you do. Just for me was so put me in that space. You as a practitioner see the forbidden all the time, people's notions of what that looks like.

Can you talk a little bit about that?

Danielle Bryan: 00:03:01

Yeah.

You know the way, from my perspective, in the way that you're asking me the question in seeing the forbidden, what I would say about that is the forbidden is the thing that they're the most afraid to look at or the most afraid to admit and go for. Okay, so in looking at.

In the work that I do, if we're going to look at it through the lens of what's the forbidden, There are so many people who go through their life and say, anywhere but there. I'm not going back there. I'm never going to let that happen again. Right. And that becomes the entire orchestration of how they navigate their life.

Anywhere but there. That was so painful when that thing happened. I will never let that happen again. So what does that become? Forbidden territory. Right.

Anywhere but there. But there's so much richness in that place, Melissa.

Not to go back and have it happen again, but to have the willingness to look at what was going on that helped to create that event that took place and to bring healing to what happened and understanding to the underlying belief systems that were operating that all became ingredients for the perfect storm. And if we are unwilling to do that investigative work, then that forbidden thing is driving your train every minute of every day.

Melissa Allison: 00:04:43

So the very thing that they're not wanting to deal with has power over them.

Danielle Bryan: 00:04:48

Yes.

Melissa Allison: 00:04:48

And is influencing everything, everything about their.

Danielle Bryan: 00:04:51

Life, conscious and unconscious, depending on what we're talking about. You know, there are things that we experience in life that we very consciously will say anywhere but there.

We know it's in the forefront of our viewpoint as we move through life, especially if we're really close to the event itself. Meaning we're only a year out or something like that. Right. If you're 10 years out, it might not be in your front, but it's probably in the periphery.

So it's the gold in it is being able to bring the healing to the trauma and then allow for the transformation to take place. Because if it's an anywhere but there, we begin to backbend around everything that we fear could ever result in that.

And whether you're consciously doing it or unconsciously doing it, you're doing it.

Melissa Allison: 00:05:54

So, you know, there's the phrase, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway, you know, really empowering, and the Nike ad, just do it and stuff like that. I feel like people are missing a step.

So if there's something like, oh, I could never talk to that person, or oh, they're too this or that looks really scary. I don't think I can do that. That, to me means I need to do it. That means it's the very thing that is going to create growth and help me as a person.

How do you think about that?

Danielle Bryan: 00:06:24

There's a lot of different things that happen, and it depends on what we're Talking about, too. So let's recognize in this conversation that we've got layers of depth. Right?

So I'm afraid to go talk to that person, so I'm going to go talk to them.

Is very different than I went through a really, really painful divorce that broke all my trust, and I've been betrayed over and over and over again, and now I don't want to ever get a relationship with somebody who has any signs of that. Right.

Melissa Allison: 00:07:00

Well, if you're gonna go there.

Danielle Bryan: 00:07:03

So all I'm saying is let's just recognize that there's lots and lots of depths and layers in it. So we're gonna go middle of the road.

Melissa Allison: 00:07:11

Okay, absolutely.

Danielle Bryan: 00:07:13

So middle of the road. When we are willing to go to the forbidden, when we're willing to turn around and say, all right, fine, I'll look. Wanted to. And I've avoided this.

But now my life has come to the point where I am going to see a shaman, and I. Maybe I'll look. Then we can, together, arm in arm, go look at what those places are and begin to see the gold and what has been developed in there.

Through all of our challenging times, we have cultivated and developed something worthwhile. We have. We just have to sometimes clear the clutter out of the way to see what it is. Right.

And in the divine orchestration of life, the events that have taken place offer something, and different events offer different things. And when we can look and really see the gift that's in it. And that can sound so cliche. I get it.

I can hear it as I say it, that it's clear cliche to say, oh, there's silver lining or the gift and everything. And it's true. And I get that it sounds cliche, but it really is. When we.

When we intentionally go, we can see what that is and what happens in that process when we engage the energetics. Okay, we're not doing this from a mental place of, let's review what happened.

We're actually engaging the energetics that have been laid down in our innate wisdom that hold density or hold energetic scar tissue, if you will. And we can go in and we can begin to soften that scar tissue and see the good that has come out of it. Meaning, where have we grown?

What wisdom have we cultivated? We've all cultivated wisdom from the challenge. We can see it coming a mile away now. Right? We can. Oh, I recognize that. Right.

And we can then allow for the holding of it to shift and transform. And it's in how we hold that event that actually Holds the pain and the suffering.

So when we can start to move through it and allow for that density to break up of how we hold the forbidden, it actually is what brings healing to the whole thing. And then we're in a place where we have the power to make choice in our life. Not from anywhere but there, but from a place of.

I can see what this is because I cultivated life experience and wisdom from an event that was similar. And now I have choice. I can choose to go anyway, or I can choose something else. But we've got choice.

We have enough space between ourself and what's driving our decisions to recognize that something else is possible for us.

And it's not the old wounded story that's just driving our behavior to run away or unconscious behavior that drives us into the same patterns that create the same results, but rather, we're in a place where we can recognize. I've cultivated some life wisdom in this kind of an arena, and this is just how far I'm going to move into this space with my wisdom.

And then here's my boundary. And then we can have a wholly different experience of what gets created in our life.

Melissa Allison: 00:11:13

For me, all that. Everything that you just said translates into. For me, yeah, translates into, I don't want anything like stopping my progression.

So I look at these as opportunities. I mean, as you know, in our sessions, there are things that I'm just like. And you have corrected me.

You know, it's like, oh, don't use frame it that way because it still controls you. It's forced me to look at how I frame things. But I just. And I am not fearless at all. But I really believe that we are.

That these are opportunities for us to move and to grow and to progress through that. Fear is not this culprit. It is this. What is the word I'm looking for? This. Not signage. It's an indicator.

It's like, you know, the neon arrow saying, look at this. This is going to help you move forward. You know, and so what do you see happen in your clients or just in your own community?

When people move through that freedom, they're.

Danielle Bryan: 00:12:36

Free from their limited, restrictive version of how they see themselves in the world and how they see the world. So it changes the way in which they can hold it, which is what you just spoke to. Right? How we hold and frame something creates an informing.

And we want to have an awareness around how we hold it and frame it. It will change the context of that very thing and allow for this outcome or that outcome.

It's kind of quantum physics in there, you know, like how we hold it and perceive it is probably going to begin to shape what your experience is going to be.

So if we want to let something be a different experience, we have to be willing to let it be a different experience, which means an awareness around our tend of how we come to things.

So what I see for myself, what I see for my clients, what I see for the people who move through the teachings and the classes, is that it frees them up to let a different set of possibilities come into their sphere. When we hold something so rigid, there's only so many possibilities that can come into that space because there's only so much room.

But when we begin to dissolve those edges and open up to something else, then what gets to come into that space is beyond what we even knew was possible for us because we've allowed for ourselves to see or hold or come to something in a much different capacity. So it's a worthy investigation to look at our fears. And there's two different kinds of fear, right?

There's like, oh, I'm kind of nervous and anxious and a little bit afraid to go do that thing or talk to that person or get on that roller coaster. Like that kind of fear versus, you know, like that's not a safe place for me to go.

And I am really in tune with myself to recognize that that is a clear no from me. Don't go. Those are two different things.

Melissa Allison: 00:15:03

That's where the X comes into play. Like that is not safe place for me to go. And I don't feel like I. It's like the burning building. I am not a fireman. It is not my circus.

I do not own the monkey. It is not my deal. And so yeah, I completely agree with you. What do you do?

What practice or what exercise do you have in your own life to help you continue to move forward?

Danielle Bryan: 00:15:33

Self introspection a deep dive. Like what? I live my life in a observer mode, Meaning that I'm not always observing myself 247 and looking at myself from outside myself.

But that is a natural tendency for me.

So I have learned through my personal work to observe my behavior, to observe my ego, to observe my habituated thought pattern, to recognize when I loop into habit versus am I present in the moment and living from a grounded place where I'm standing in my power, where I recognize I've got choice all along the way. And so the way I come to it is to do a check in and to just check in and ask yourself like, where's the fear coming from?

Or boy, I can feel a hesitancy here. Or I'm a little bit contracted, right?

Our energetic innate wisdom, our bodies will tell us all kinds of information all the time when we really allow for ourselves to be tuned into that kind of wisdom.

So throughout our day, I don't know what the number is, but I'm going to surmise that there are several, several, several times a day where we engage the world and it creates a contraction or it creates an expansion. That's information, right? Contraction says, oh, I'm closing down, there's something going on here that's asking me to close off. Is it fear? Is it it?

Did my feelings get hurt? Did some old story get triggered? You know, did my own, you know, as a mom, I can talk about. We have an innate biology to keep our offspring alive.

I call it biology of keep offspring alive. Right.

Melissa Allison: 00:17:50

It's very technical.

Danielle Bryan: 00:17:53

And when that thing gets triggered, right. All we can do is see through that lens and we are operating from fear, straight up fear. Keep offspring alive at all costs, right?

When they're five, that's kind of easy. When they're 15, it's really complicated because it requires two different sets of parenting style. But the feeling is the same.

The biology of keep offspring alive is the same when they're 5 and same when they're 15, but the external circumstances are very, very different. So I have to check in with myself and say, oh God, is this just my fear because of my deep, deep love and attachment to my son?

Or is it worthy of a hard. No. Which one is it? I don't know. But I know there's a biological thing in full swing right now.

So it's really hard to discern that whether it's my biology, whether it's my innate soul wisdom, whether it's my past experience playing in here. Like, what is it? And it creates a deep contraction. For anybody who loves and cares about someone deeply.

When we suddenly fear for their safety, it's like all hands on deck, right? And we can feel it in our whole beingness. It's a worthy investigation. Where is this coming from and how am I going to work with it?

Melissa Allison: 00:19:29

You know, those are really scary thoughts.

Danielle Bryan: 00:19:31

They are hugely scary thoughts and it can take over everything.

And all of a sudden we're telling our 15 year old they're not allowed to go to the park by themselves when we've spent five years getting them to go to the park by themselves. Right? Ride your bike. It's just down the street I don't need to go with you. And now we're like, no, no, that's a bad idea. You need to stay home.

Melissa Allison: 00:19:55

Right.

Danielle Bryan: 00:19:55

Right. Yeah.

Melissa Allison: 00:19:56

Watch Netflix with me. Yes. Yeah. I am so guilty.

I am so guilty because my youngest baby, when she was four, went missing for three and a half hours and the whole community was looking for her. And that sense of, like, I couldn't see, I couldn't. I mean, I couldn't function.

Danielle Bryan: 00:20:23

Yeah.

Melissa Allison: 00:20:23

You know, and I. Oh, my God. Fortunately, she was okay and everything worked out. Made the newspaper because the whole community was looking for her.

But as a result, I have this very. Like, I don't. They're 13 and 17, and I panic about them walking a mile to go anywhere. Right. You know, it's like, it's. Yeah.

Danielle Bryan: 00:20:51

Anywhere but there.

Melissa Allison: 00:20:52

Yeah.

Danielle Bryan: 00:20:53

What's driving your train?

Melissa Allison: 00:20:55

Exactly. Now we know why I'm doing the podcast. Because. Yeah. I mean, even though.

Even though I see the value in dealing with those fears and stuff, it's very, very real. And it's a domino. It's like, just because you've got one day, there's a whole bunch ahead of you to knock down. And I don't know that we'll ever.

If our goal is to continue to grow and evolve, we'll never be done. Right. It's an ongoing practice.

Danielle Bryan: 00:21:26

Right. Which I'm gonna hop into that circle for a minute.

And what I would love to say to anybody who is listening to this is that it is an ongoing evolution, our experience down here in form. And the trick is to get on the disempowerment triangle with our evolution.

Meaning if we come to our life with what's the next thing I can fix, so I can be better and more evolved. We are on the triangle with our spiritual evolution rather than recognize that we are a multi dimensional complex form down here.

And there's all kinds of stuff in there that we can come to and be like, oh, look, didn't really realize that was still in there. So that's cool. I know how to work with it. So let's work with it and not take on the lens of, wow, that's something wrong with me that I need to fix.

Melissa Allison: 00:22:29

Oh, yeah.

Danielle Bryan: 00:22:30

Because now we look at ourselves as a whole host of what's wrong with me that I need to fix?

And look how spiritual I am and how evolved I am that I can look at myself as one big disastrous mess instead of being able to recognize, like, sure, there's edges that we're gonna bump into and we know how to work with it and let's work with it and get on with the business of just enjoying our life.

Melissa Allison: 00:22:55

Right. Well, if our life is a mess, because I know there are phases where my life was a huge mess, but allowing myself to move through it.

Danielle Bryan: 00:23:05

Yes.

Melissa Allison: 00:23:05

And just accepting what is and knowing that as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other and being true and authentic to myself, not letting myself off the hook, this is what I'm looking at.

Danielle Bryan: 00:23:16

Absolutely. And how we can circle right back around and let this be the perfect example of how we hold it will determine how we come to it. Right.

So we can look at what's wrong with me, or we can look at like, here's me, here's all of it. And sometimes it's messy, and it's messy as hell. Sometimes. And if we're human, we've had it. We've had the messy phase of our life.

And maybe sometimes that's forbidden. Maybe sometimes what's forbidden is that people don't want to admit that we all have messy.

We all have the capability to be the biggest on the planet. We do. And if you think you don't, you're kidding yourself. Just recognize that you do. Whether you act into it or not is the choice.

But it lives in all of us. So if we can just start there, it kind of debunks the whole thing.

Melissa Allison: 00:24:18

I love that. I really love that. Absolutely. So if somebody doesn't have a shaman, what could you, like, help?

Like what tools or what practices or what would you say to them if they're thinking, you know what, I want to start looking at this stuff. What could they do to start moving in that direction?

Danielle Bryan: 00:24:42

I would say take some time in your life to have the honest, messy self observation. Sit down in your private journal if you're afraid if anybody's ever going to find it.

And write down all the stuff that you would never, ever want people to know about you. Because that investigative process allows for ourselves to begin to see the whole of who we are. And it debunks it.

It's not so scary anymore when we can just sit down and say, yeah, me too. And we got a whole me too thing going on. Right. That's different. But like, yeah, me too. I have that thought right.

I used to think about having a podcast called Fut Fucked Up Thoughts, because we all have them.

Melissa Allison: 00:25:36

I think we could go along with this F theme.

Danielle Bryan: 00:25:39

And there are things that you reserve for that one person in your life where you go, you're never gonna believe what I thought today. And it's funny sometimes. I mean, it's kind of not.

It's really edgy in there because sometimes it's not funny that you find yourself thinking that thing. But then if we can pull the lens back, we can be like, but I did.

So if we can start to recognize it, it creates a lot more expansion for moving through our life experience and being able to drop some of the judgment.

Melissa Allison: 00:26:16

Right?

Danielle Bryan: 00:26:17

Oh, my God. I can't believe that they X, Y, and Z. It's like, yeah, but if you were in my head, you wouldn't believe half the shit that goes on in there. Right?

But let's just start with like. Like, it's part of who we are. That's forbidden Melissa to sit down and honestly say, you want to know my mess? Right?

Because everybody wants to keep this image of I got it togetherness. And it's like, yeah, but there's a whole lot more in there.

Melissa Allison: 00:26:49

I realized after this conversation, I needed another appointment with you because just the mention of the journal and all the things you don't want people to know, it's like, oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah. I don't know if I'm ready for people to say, oh, yeah, me too. Because in my head, I'm thinking, no one's gonna say, me too.

Danielle Bryan: 00:27:05

Right? So start with your journal. I mean, it's a personal process.

We're not having a workshop that's gonna ask people to read what they wrote in their private journal. Right? Like, there's discernment in life. There are certain things that we're not gonna run out and say, guess what I thought today?

But the point is, as a personal process is to begin. Begin to give voice to all parts of ourselves and stop shoving it into the closet. That's what starts to open us up and create freedom.

Because when we're sitting at the meeting with the 10 other people around us, we know our stuff, and that helps us determine what's mine and what's not.

Melissa Allison: 00:27:52

Right?

Danielle Bryan: 00:27:53

And that creates. Creates an ability to make an authentic choice in our life when we know what my stuff is versus what your stuff is.

And I'm really clear when I take on your stuff, I'm like, oh, that's not my stuff, because I know my stuff. I wrote it in my journal.

Melissa Allison: 00:28:10

Exactly. Oh, my gosh. You have shared so much great information. I mean, there are like, I have to go down the checklist.

I'm gonna include this in the information on the podcast post because such a wealth of information. Thank you so much. But I have to ask you now, Danielle, you know what's coming. What have you previously perceived as forbidden that you now enjoy?

Danielle Bryan: 00:28:39

I previously perceived standing in my power and being able to own and name what my gifts are and what I'm really good at as forbidden because it would have come off pretentious or egoic or like I'm tooting my own horn, and nobody likes that.

And I have, through my own journey, have landed in a place where I can own that comfortably and I can speak to it and talk about it and not hold it in the land of forbidden.

Melissa Allison: 00:29:15

Oh, I like that a lot.

Danielle Bryan: 00:29:19

Thank you so much.

Melissa Allison: 00:29:24

You've been listening to Loving df. I'm Melissa Allison, and I hope you'll join me again next week.